Bang! Bang!

We were standing in his room. I was by the window right next to his bed which was messy and piled with unneccesary stuff.

"So unlike him," I thought to myself. He was standing across the room by his desk. The top drawer where he had taken the gun was still open.

 

We had been staring at each other for a while. Neither of us spoke. He was pointing the gun at me. I always knew he was fragile and easily breakable. I had no idea what had driven him into this madness.

"Honey, please. Put the gun down and tell me what's wrong." How come I hadn't seen the fiasco coming!?

Everything had been perfect in the morning and even now, 15 minutes ago when he opened the door for me, he seemed to be at his best. However, I recall a different look in his eyes now, as if there was something he wanted to tell me but decided not to. Now his face had changed totally. I've never seen him like that. He was so broken... Even from the other end of the room I saw his eyes fill with tears. 

"Hun, come on," I said softly to get contact with him. I wasn't scared, not at all.

 

"You lied to me," he finally whispered. 

"I trusted you. You promised to tell me if there was something going on....but you never did...I saw you...with THEM!" His eyes were so sad. I realised then that it was his paranoia about being cheated on and everybody leaving him.

 

"Baby, I've never lied to you. There is absolutely nothing going on. They are just friends and you know that," I once more tried to calm him down.

 

"LIAR!! I SAW THEM!!" he yelled at me. 

"WHY is it so hard to love me? I'm not a bad person. Why can't you people just fucking love me?!!" I was losing my temper, I always did when it came to his paranoia tantrum about not being loved. 

"We do love you! You just choose not to see it! Now put away the gun, we both know there are no bullets in it anyw.." BANG!!! 

I felt the warm wind as the bullet shot past my head and through the window. Funny how the breaking of the glass made so much louder nois that the gun. Everything seemed to happen in slowmotion. I turned around and looked at the hole in the window and then back at him. His face was frozen with shock. He fell on the floor and started sobbing violently. The next moment someone stormed into the room. It was Simon, who looked at me in terror but my eyes never left the shaking sobbing body on the floor.

At that moment I was scared, I was scared to death. Not my life but his....